Thursday, May 10, 2007

Crime and Cruelty-Warning! this is really sad and insane

I have to share this because it weighs me down so heavily. Its a story that you could never make up...its too insane. I thought that writing about it might help. This is the sorrowful plight of a sister, friend and devoted mother. It is hard to imagine the suffering that some people are called to go through. Most of you probably know that Barry's sister, Jennifer, died this past Tuesday. She came here 8 months ago with her four children and new husband she met over the internet ( that her sisters begged her not to marry). She discovered back home in Indiana that she had melanoma cancer. She wanted to come home to be with her extended family and receive support. Unfortunately Jennifer left in a hurry and did not bring sufficient clothing and supplies for her family. She came destitute of any means hoping that the new husband would take on responsibility for them. She had been abandoned by her first husband who left her and the children for another woman nine years ago. This man let her live in poverty, paying the smallest amount of alimony and child support that was allowed. He neglected to pay many months as well. Jennifer had social disabilities but managed to have a part time job as a church janitor. She gave her children the greatest gift she could, and that was her love. They are wonderful, loving children, devoted to their mother.
Four months ago,two weeks before Christmas, the ex husband came to Utah with a warrant charging child abuse of the new husband. With the intimidation of a police officer, he ripped the four crying children from the arms of their sick and dying mother and flew them far away to Florida. I was very involved with those children as I would pick them up from school daily and visit with them. They seemed happy and anxious to go home each day. I even asked the older brother of any unusual behavior and he vehemently denied anything. The new husband did raise some red flags as he was socially lacking and unknown to any of us. I kept very close watch on the situation and am convinced that the ex husband and his mother were extreme in their accusations and vindictive in their actions. The new husband was sent to jail for a time leaving Jennifer alone to fend for herself in her sickness. He never did hold a job of any kind and seemed indifferent to it although always promising Jennifer of something. As you can imagine, all of these events have caused Jennifer's extended family the most extreme pain and dismay as well as worry over her financial obligations. Jennifer's children wrote letters and called periodically which cheered her spirits. However, her health declined from them on and she spent weeks in the hospital until she passed away this week. I witnessed the last goodbyes from her children over the phone. We all thought, surely these children will come see her in her last days and for her funeral! But "No!", here is the crime and final cruetly-the ex husband (who most likely does not want to spend the money to bring them) claims that it is in the children's best interest not to come, and that the children cannot be around the new husband for fear of witness tampering! Is not this insane reasoning?!!! The new husband vowed he would not be in the same building with them for the Jennifer's sake.
It already feels better to purge these events from my mind. I leave final judgement to the Lord who knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts. He alone administers true justice which cannot be robbed in the end. Jennifer's funeral which is being paid for by the donations of her extended family and ward is this Sat. at 11 am at the brown chapel on 600 W and 500 N in PG. I have learned that when we see and experience the sufferings of others, we witness the sufferings of Christ for he descended below all things and has suffered all of our pains,sorrows, sickness and sins. I am also convinced more than ever that we need not suffer to extreme degrees if we will but individually exercise careful diligence in keeping all of the commandments of God.

5 comments:

Brooke said...

So sad. I have always felt that Jennifer's spirit was too good for this world...

scott said...

We admire you for doing so much for the family. Our condolonces to Barry and his siblings. You have shown yourself to be a true Christian in your concern and care for others. We know that you have helped also with other family members with your time and counsel. S&J

Emily said...

This is a very sad story and also stirred up some anger in me. I don't understand people sometimes. How cruel some people can really be. I appreciated your thoughts on how our final judgement day will come. It is a relief that we imperfect people are not responsible for the outcomes of others.

Wendy said...

It is so great that you put into words what we are all thinking and feeling. I still struggle with it all. I sent her ex-husband an email yesterday asking him if he and the children would like to pay for Jennifer's headstone but he wrote back and told me he was flat broke. So, I tried to give them the opportunity to do something that the kids could feel like they contributed to their mothers funeral but it didn't work. I know that someday he is going to have a lot to answer for. Love you! Wendy

Lorna said...

I was also touched by the things that you said and feel. I am so relieved that Jennifer is no longer suffering and that her eyes have been opened to the realities of this world and that she is in the loving arms of our mother and she will no longer have to be hurt or taken advantage of. She has left a wonderful legacy for her family and friends.